Tomorrow's tide

"Can we meet after work?" He asked.
"Yeah sure" I replied.
I had reduced my life to Work and Home ever since Brian called it quits. In as much as i did not build my life around his, I had placed a significant amount of importance and attention on him. Brian was not rich, in fact he was just trying to relocate to Lagos and his contract with his former employer was over. His financials did not matter to me. He was bright and smart and that was the main attraction. I had always been in love with 'brains'. Ultimately, that would be my downfall. That will be a story for another day.

After promising to go out and entertain myself, I agreed to hang out with Dave after work. I had met Dave through a mutual friend a couple of years back. Dave picked me up after work and we had drinks, caught up on old times till it was quite late. It felt strange and yes, liberating, to have been able to stay out this late. It had been a long time. He dropped me off at home and waited for me to get into the house before driving off(hmm, a gentleman, i see). That will set the pace for a couple of nights to come; have drinks and dinner after work till late and then home.

Few nights after that, Dave invited me to his place. I accepted and after our usual drinks, he took me to his place. He started kissing and touching and the rest is history....He dropped me off and waited to make sure i got into the house before driving off. Twice, we had that routine. Dave and I went out to a couple of other places with his friends but no more intimacy.

On this last night, we had met again and went over to his place. After our usual drinks, the touching and kissing started again....I did not have a problem kissing Dave but for a couple of weeks now, I did not want to be intimate(that's like closing the barn after the horses have all run off)...Persuasion by action had never been a stronger force than it was today. I was forced to remember that trying to stop a guy from doing a 'home run" was like holding up an umbrella on a top-speed bike while it's raining in Lagos(the wind will 'mess' up that umbrella and probably snatch it away from your hands or disfigure it)...but i insisted and refused.

We got into the car and i started thinking to myself all through the drive home..."was sex going to be my payment "currency" for the drinks and movie and dinners we've been having?" "Did i not have the right to decline his advances?" "Could i not just have an evening with a friend without the pressures of wanting to have sex?" "We are not dating so does that make us sex partners and me no better than the mistresses of the noble peerage of Britain who had to pander sex for being 'protected'?" ...Alas we are home and no, i had not yet found the answers i seek...Dave does not kiss me goodnight nor does he say much. I step down and walked to the gate and when i turned, Dave was driving off....He had not waited to see if i had gotten into the house. I stood at the gate and watched the car's headlights till  it disappeared from view...

I wonder if there will be a "Can we meet after work?" tomorrow.